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~something you should know...
Saturday, November 14, 2009 @ 6:47 AM
"I thought when my love for you died, I should die. It’s dead. Alone, most strangely, I live on..." hey vittal, if u ever read this post or watever i just wanna say im sowie.. for making fun of you n for calling u mean stuff on my blog and the worse part is i got my friends to go against you too.. and that was wrong the truth is im not angry at u 4 leaving me im angry at u 4 playing me it seriously hurts, u noe!! but i bet u dont give a damn.. and the horrible sad truth is no matter how much i deny it, i know deeeep down.. ..like waaaay deep down, im gonna miss you but that doesnt mean i dont still wanna slap you!! "Never be sad for what is over, just be glad that it was once yours.." - as for everyone else, pls stop saying mean stuff about vittal.. i noe he is an ass hole but he is my problem!! i mean, i shouldnt have got yall involved in all of this.. i mean, clarissa wants to cut his dick off pikky wants to sit on him [lol] navin wants to whack him up vishan and sanjay want to scold him raviena wats to break his neck dharshiren wants to kick him i noe u guys are trying to make me feel better but yall gotta stop making fun of vittal, k?? promise me!! "No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you’ll never get through it without your friends..." - i really dunno y i fell for him.. i mean, it all started at da kwn course.. all my fault la!! if i never went over to loong kuan's room to give him da damn CD, geetasha would have never suggested to ring da doorbell non-stop, and vittal and prakaash would have never balas balik and they would have never kept prank calling us and i would have never spoken to vittal and none of this would have ever happened!! "Somewhere between all our laughs, long talks, stupid fights, and all our jokes, I fell in love.." and once we were together, i felt on top of the world!! i was on cloud 9!! i mean, i had a rough past and my life really sucked.. for the first time, this emo girl could finally smile.. for the first time in my life!! "It’s like he saved me from a bad place only to put me in a much worse one.." i used to sms him everyday.. we used to talk about everything... i was never bored!! he lifted my heart with so many sweet things!! and i tot he was serious!! but what i didnt know, it was all a lie!! i mean, on this side im smiling and dancing around, going crazy!! but on the other end, he was waiting for me to stop smsing him so he could get back to his life.. "I count the minutes until I get to see you again... You count the minutes until you get to leave again..." we started seeing each other every wednesday and friday... i'd rush out of tuition so i'd get to see him b4 he goes back.. my heart would start pumping, and beating real fast every time i waited for class to end so i get to see him.. and every time i saw him, i'd smile for no reason at all.. my heart felt like it was floating in mid air.. and before you know it, i got my first kiss.. and god it was special!! it felt like magic!! and i can still feel it every time i think of it.. "To let a fool kiss you is stupid; to let a kiss fool you is worse." every time i said "i love you", i really meant it.. i say it not because i feel like saying it or because i've nothing else to talk about.. i say it cuz i mean it with all my heart.. cuz i want you to know that no matter wat happens, i'll love you forever.. but u said it for fun.. just to make me feel satisfied?! "When a girl says “I love you”, she really means it...." as time went by, i fell more and more in love with him.. but i had a feeling he didnt love me anymore.. then one day, he just got fed up.. and he asked for break up.. "Breaking up is just like having the worst nightmare after having the best dream..." i was ok with it at first.. but then he just got mean.. and the rest was messed up.. i found out he was never really serious about 'us'.. he was playing aroung the whole time.. thats when i couldnt take it.. i broke down and cried like theres no tomorrow!! "Doesn’t it suck when he knows just how you feel about him and he doesn’t do a thing about it because he just doesnt care??" well now, i gotta forget about him.. the love of my life.. the one who broke my heart.. but no matter how hard i try, i cant!! "If you have to try and convince yourself you don't care about someone- you care about them more than you think.." he was my first!! and because of that, i know i'll never forget him.. infact, after pmr, i'll be lying on my bed, smsing my new bf, one that is sincere, and looking back at the guy who played me, thinking "he never deserved to have me.." "No man is worth your tears, and when you find the man who is, he'll never make you cry.." dont worry vittal, you're just a lesson to learn!! i'll never make the same mistake again!! but im sad to say, i will miss you.. "Even though i can say it's his loss, deep down i know it will be mine too…" -so much for my happy ending-- |
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WITH MY HANDS UP, PUT YOUR HANDS UP,
